White Fragility - a state in which even a minimal amount of racial stress becomes intolerable, triggering a range of defensive moves
Examples:
Falling silent and "checking out of the conversation"
Calling the authorities on BIPOC when you are uncomfortable about what is being said on race
Deleting what you said on social media, or physically leaving a conversation
Falling silent and "checking out of the conversation"
Calling the authorities on BIPOC when you are uncomfortable about what is being said on race
Deleting what you said on social media, or physically leaving a conversation
"Your desire to be seen as good, can actually prevent you from doing good, because if you do not see yourself as part of the problem, you cannot be part of the solution."
"You will assume what is being criticized is your skin color and your individual goodness as a person, rather than your complicity in a system of oppression that is designed to benefit you at the expense of BIPOC, in ways that you are not even aware of."
How does white fragility show up during your conversations about race? Do you fight, freeze, or flee?
I think I most commonly withdraw from the situation or veer towards changing the topic. More recently and with the help of these prompts I have been trying to not flee, and that has worked with family or people that I am very comfortable with. It has most definitely not worked with strangers or people that I am not as close too.
Describe you most visceral memory of experiencing white fragility. How old were you? Where were you? What was the conversation about? Why did it bring up white fragility in you? How do you recall feeling during the interaction? How do you feel about it today?
So, it is very hard for me to recall an incredibly visceral memory regarding white fragility. I don't know if it is something I have been distanced from due to privilege, or something that I have been unaware of because of the same. As far as conversations are concerned, it has been minimal at best. Recently (and mentioned in the first prompt) there was the individual at the grocery store with a racially insensitive shirt, and I most certainly froze. I locked up. I felt immediately sick to my stomach. How could someone be so oblivious to the actual point that they could wear that out? Have I been that oblivious and been unaware as well? I felt terrible in the moment, and we didn't even interact. Since then I've been pouring over questions I could have asked that wouldn't result in negativity, but is that even a desired approach? I still don't know. But I'm hoping I come out of this less fragile, and more prone to deal with a little discomfort of my own if that means it assists in dismantling a system that has been oppressing others.
How have you weaponized your fragility against BIPOC through, for example, calling the authorities, crying, or claiming you're being harmed ("reverse racism!" or "I'm being shamed!" or "I'm being attacked!")?
I think this would have to go back to applying for scholarships to pay for college. It has been over a decade, but I can still recall the frustration at the time of not being "eligible" for certain scholarships because I was white, and I gravitated towards the thought of reverse racism: that opportunities were not equal, and it was based on a protected class. Most recently I weaponized my fragility in the first writing prompt, I literally wrote I feel "attacked" in the sense of my perception of achieving what I have in my life.
How do you feel when you hear the words white people? Do they make you uncomfortable?
It feels like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.... What have we done this time? It seems very irregular that it is followed with a positive remark. It is also something that is thrown around much less frequently than saying black people. I think I am more prone to generalize with race implications of BIPOC than I ever would with white people.
How has your white fragility prevented you, through fear and discomfort, from doing meaningful work around your own personal antiracism to date?
It's taken me 32 years to come to the conclusion that my behavior needs to change. I'm ashamed that it has taken this long to act. I'm ashamed that its taken protests, rioting, and looting for me to see that I'm contributing to a broken system by doing nothing.